Friday 26 July 2013

Notice

Hi everyone, 
we have decided to make some changes to our blog, and where better to start than the web address? From now on, please find us at:
www.stevieandlee.blogspot.com
Thankyou!

The Unexpected Surprise (Schnitzel)

Like lots of our stories, some should never be spoken-they are so weird- but this one, this one's so weird and UN natural that it goes far beyond that rule and it's the sickest but 'best' story you will ever hear.

(I doubt that...)
Throughout life and school, we crossed by over-adventurous people like Tom, more enthusiastic people like Carol, and that one, strange girl who doesn't talk but dances like a gorilla. In comparison to the huge competition, young Nina seemed almost normal.


One day, me and Lee knocked on Nina's door to walk to school like we always did. She answered with a cheery smile and said she'd only be a minute as she had to brush her teeth.

(What kind of sick person leaves brushing their teeth until last?!) So anyway, we lingered in the doorway and were met by an unusual smell of frying meat. I looked at Stevie and we both pulled a face.
It was eight in the morning, and whatever was cooking certainly wasn't bacon. 

Lee that's disgusting! Haha, don't exaggerate! Anyway, we heard Nina's dad upstairs, waking up her little sister from school. We heard him walking around a bit and finally we saw his feet at the top of the stairs. What a surprise was going to happen!

Before either of us could look away, he came bounding down the stairs, totally unaware of our presence. I wish I could say that he was wearing something- anything- but that would be lying. Quickly, I glanced at the floor, but I heard Stevie squeal in shock beside me- she had seen the worst of his 'German sausage' (jokes).
The whole experience was kind of like a Hansel and Gretel story.
Only with a more sinister surprise.
And a completely different storyline.

Yeah...in case we hadn't already mentioned, the family was German which (with no offence to ordinary German men)makes it kinda pervy. We both looked away as quickly as possible, but that dreadful image will never leave my mind, and Nina has never forgiven her dad since. However, we still wonder if he was naked when he woke up her sister...
THE END!!!

*To elaborate more- we have had MANY quite terrifying run-ins with pervy people who just happened to be German men (especially and unfortunately me...) but of course we hold nothing against ordinary German people, just Nina's family.*
:)
*And also, Stevie was joking on her last sentence!*

Thursday 18 July 2013

The Sorry Note

As children, we had some very interesting friends (to say the least). One of the more incredibly interesting friends would have to be an enthusiastic young girl named Carol.

One day in year six Carol decided to go on our teachers phone- she had a little bit of a crush on him, which was kind of weird. 
Anyway, she decided to go on his phone (we still don't know why), and so she waited for his to leave the classroom and then she pounced.

I speculated that she was searching for any other competition his his life ( according to Carol, age was just a number, never mind a twenty five year difference), and she quite literally tore open the desk and flung out the black iphone that sat inside.

She twiddled the device for a moment, working out how to unlock the phone- luckily for her there was no password, but not so lucky for the rest of the class though.

Almost immediately the phone was screaming ringtones at top volume and vibrating so violently that Carol let out a shriek and flung it to the ground, where it rattled against the wooden floor. An inappropriately MASSIVE picture of Big Ben was now displayed on the screen, and to everyone's horror the volume turned even louder.
Carol's face as she slammed the phone off the floor.
 (In case you didn't notice, this is not actually a picture of the real Carol)


Suddenly our teacher burst into the room to see what was making so much noise. He looked to his right, saw the iphone on the floor playing loud music and random pictures and looked around the room very angrily.

(Or shall we say 'inappropriate pictures') Carol- who had hurled herself over a desk top into her seat- now glanced around the room nervously at the twenty-eight confused and blaming pairs of eyes that were now focused on her (including mine and Stevie's). 

The teacher flew into a rage. He screamed at the whole class when he should have really only been screaming at Carol. Carol felt extremely guilty. But this is where the weird part comes in. The next day...

(I was joking about the 'inappropriate pictures'! The only inappropriate thing in one of the pictures was the size of the grin on the teacher's while feeding the ducks....*sighs*....) And so anyway, the next day, I spied a tiny muffin wrapped in a ribbon (that's right, a ribbon!) sitting on top of a note on the teachers desk.

It was quite a fancy muffin


It was a sorry note from Carol to our teacher. Nobody knew what the note said, but everyone knew one thing. Our teacher was completely and utterly freaked out...

Thursday 11 July 2013

One night stand...

Well this memory was in year six, in a place called 'Robin Activity Centre'. It is one of those school trips that happens in basically every school, and if not, we feel sorry for you, because this is one of the best trips you will ever go on. Anyway, this is how it began....

Okay, so we were divided into dorms, and our dorm happened to be made up of nine people, two rooms and one bathroom that connected the two. Stevie and I were in the bigger room, the one closer to the main door, and I was tossed into a bottom bunk with Stevie in the top.

Once we had gone through our daily activities, it was time to go into bed. We got ready, chatted for a bit and then were forced to turn the light off by the teacher.
That was when it got weird.

AND the teacher didn't shut the door properly. It was like minus five degrees, and after an hour or so we stopped hearing noises from the girls next door. We just presumed that they had frozen to death.
And THEN...
A quiet girl who had never talked to any of us before (in fact, I'm not even sure she went to the same school as us....) burst into action!

We don't know why the girl was put into our dorm, to be honest some of us didn't even know that she went to our school. But, she has definitely never left my memory since that night.

But the moment those lights went out, the moment the temperature dropped, she burst out of her bed (which was very impressive as she was in a top bunk in the corner of the room) and began a strange, wild dance that looked like some strange satanic ritual performed in the dark. Everyone was stunned.
 Scared.

I know this is hard to believe, but every word we say is true. It has scarred me for life. Anyway, after her weird dance, she started calling herself strange names...
One of them was 'Gorilla', and she started banging her hands to her chest...I think at that point I may have cried.

What we actually felt we were looking at!


It was one of those moments where you actually feel guilty for watching, but yet you can't seem to look away...
She stopped dead in her tracks,
Her hands frozen in the air, a mad glint in her eye as she began to creep slowly towards my bunk.
Then, suddenly, she did a U-turn, throwing herself at the window and then hurling herself back into bed.

Everything went silent. Everyone was so confused and also quite scared. Then, out of nowhere, a sound came from her mouth whispering, "It was a dare". We all looked around at each other, seeing who on earth dared her to do that. Then the door opened.

The girl let out a chuckle, a tiny burst of laughter that was so quiet but so disturbing. 
Just as she did, a man stormed through the open door, shouting in anger- the girl let out a hysterical scream, and then burst into fits of giggles. The rest of us were totally shaken- I think I heard someone praying to herself.
But it turned out that the man with long greasy dreadlocks- who we all assumed was some crazed axe murderer who was summoned by the girl- was actually a nightstaff member who had come into our room to investigate the incredibly strange noises made by the dancing stranger.
Now you can see why we were terrified.


To be honest, we had all kind of expected that guy to come in because if they hadn't heard those terrible noises, then that guy was a terrible night supervisor. Anyway, that guy also scared the living daylights out of everybody, because a tall scary figure bursting into your room after a weird ritual has been performed tends to be kinda scary. 
Anyway, he left and we never really heard that girl speak again.

Ever.



Sunday 7 July 2013

Tom Burrow's legacy

One of our funniest and definitely more memorable memories in primary school is that of Tom Burrow and his legacy.

Never before had I heard of the drink 'dandelion and burdock' but now whenever anyone mentions it, it brings a smile to my face.....
Dandelion and burdock


It started after school one day when me and Lee bumped into a 'certain someone' (in other words, Tom). He seemed to be by himself carrying a giant bottle of dandelion and burdock.

Actually, Stevie, I'm pretty sure he was standing next to a postbox, fake-crying with anguish because he couldn't get the lid off that massive bottle. (God knows where the bottle came from).
We went over to him (a bit more cautiously, as we had spotted him moments ago lying on the pavement clutching a used lottery ticket and whispering, "I've won, I've won." to himself repeatedly) and I asked the question anyone would ask.
"Tom what the hell are you doing?"

He looked a little worried, a little crazed, but asked, "Would either of you care for some dandelion and burdock?"
We both awkwardly replied, "No".

Tom seemed to have other ideas- he flew after us with the bottle; Stevie screamed and dived for cover, I jumped quickly out of the way, and Tom went hurtling to the ground, and we all watched in silence as the bottle spun through the air.

Tons of Dandelion and burdock spurted out into the street, covering a very posh old lady.


The lady shrieked in horror, shaking her wrinkly fist, and shouted, "MA MACINTOSH! WHAT HAVE YER DONE?" 
She pulled her two terrified grandchildren into her particularly disgusting mustard macintosh (which was some weird little form of poncho) and threw herself at Tom. It wasn't a pretty sight- her macintosh fluttering in the breeze as she screamed at Tom, spraying innocent pedestrians with dandelion and burdock.
A macintosh, modelled by this rather
striking young man.

....I don't think she talked like that Lee....Afterwards was a blur; all three of us ran away as fast as we could, which wasn't very fast as poor Tom wasn't exactly 'fit'. After about two minutes we'd lost her, and then deserted Tom, who was looking rather sad that he'd lost his oh so special 'dandelion and burdock'.

*We changed the name to 'Tom Burrow' to avoid embarrassment for the real *sighs* 'Tom Burrow'.

Saturday 6 July 2013

First encounters.

We think it's only right to start our blog in the very beginning- how we first met.
 This is NOT a love story, just how friend meets foe. (And then becomes friend again.)

Okay, so basically, when I first met Stevie, it wasn't exactly what one may call 'love at first sight'. In fact, I'm pretty sure 'hate' was an understatement. But- to be fair- we were only in year four, and I was the typically chubby eight year old girl, with short hair and she was the slightly less fat, neat little nine year old.
It all started when I was trying to draw a perfect little angel on a scrap of paper. She ran over with a permanent marker and drew an obese hand on my little angel's arm.
It was war.

To be fair Lee, ^ you asked me to help draw it and I offered to help, so I did. And to be honest I thought my draw-over was pretty good.

Well, you thought wrong.

Haha, well anyway, I drew over your work (trying to be helpful) and all hell broke loose (lol). you showed the picture to everyone and before I knew it the whole class was after me!

I've never seen eight year old's charge so fast. Come to think of it, I've never seen one little girl curl up into a ball and beg for mercy in the middle of the playground either....

Okay well maybe you exaggerated that a bit but still. I was small. I was scared. And we were enemies. however, with little kids being, well..er.. little kids, we made up the next day, and since then, we've been inseparable.

Ahahaha I suppose that's true. Mind you, if we hadn't have made friends in the end, then I suppose that I wouldn't ever have laughed as much as I have, and I probably would have had many less near-death encounters.

Shut up lee, its usually you who gets us into "near-death experiences".But anyway that's how it started and hopefully as we develop this blog there will be lots more to come. Over and out..



Me and Lee in Newcrost Park!
(Back in the day)










Blog link!

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/9761347/?claim=62fux5b9gfz">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

Getting started!

First lets get this straight, this blog is joint.
Me (Stevie) and my friend (Lee) wanted to create something that we could both relate to, enjoy and generally have something to symbolise our friendship,but we're kinda' knew to this whole blogging thing so  we will just take this step by step and see where it leads us.
We have decided to make this blog a montage of our funny memories, favourite things and the overall happiness in our lives, and as we said, we don't know where this will take us but don't knock it until you've tried it. 
P.S. Please enjoy the blog!
 P.P.S. WE LOVE GINGER SNAPS.